The question I asked myself at the end of today. How could it possibly be that I had an amazing, blog-inspiring, head-in-the-clouds day yesterday and I ended today with my brain in my lap?
To quote many a TV show, it started like any normal day. I was more excited about the start of today with our new floor table and ocean wall ready for eager little eyes as they came in. I had everything prepped for the day. No crazy running around looking for the papers I set down two seconds ago off the printer/copier. The kids start to trickle in and they crack me up with their observations.
"Hey, something's different..." "Uh, EVERYTHING is different!" "Psst, look at the room!" "It's like a new room!"
They are the funniest things in the world when they think I'm not listening.
Morning work transitions into tinker time as the kids finish. Insert gripping side note about my tinker boxes that might take another blog post. Tinker time transitions to that carpet. I compliment the kids on their fabulous work putting away the tinker boxes (the lids actually closed!!), We read Tattletongue to help sway the reemerging tattling. Things start to click.
Aaaaaaand then comes math.
Accursed math. You were a friend, and today ye be a foe. We're working on graphing and collecting data. An actually fun topic when it comes to the discussions we have and the little bit more you find out about kids through class surveys. Today's data stemmed from sorting buttons and trying to put that information on paper. I modeled a graph. Helped them figure out possible grouping for buttons. Sent them on their merry independent way. I was able to get some small group work with one of my low kids, helping him with strategies and supporting his understanding. The rest of the class is focused and I hear good conversations going on. As I finish with my low kid, I start to walk around the room. Some. Aren't. Graphing it! They did the sorting and were just listing colors of buttons on the paper or creating groupings in circles across the page. Valuable, yes. But it wasn't what I wanted.
How could this be?! I explained it. Modeled it. Guided it. Ugh! It just set the day and I in a funk. From then on it seemed like I was playing Whack-A-Mole (without actually hitting anything, so you know).
Stop putting your hands on him. You CANNOT leave the room without telling me. Turn around in line, please. Why would you get up just to go hit him? Your voices should be off. 5, 4, 3, 2...STOP PUTTING YOUR HANDS ON HIM!
Specials time was a Godsend. As I was folding report cards, I just stopped and stared at my hands. Massaged my face. Rubbed my eyes. Trying to work the fog out from behind my vision. I felt like one of those exaggerated dark clouds they have float over people in cartoons, dropping rain and thunder on the person below. What was happening? How could I fix it? I wasn't sure. I brought the kids back and we talked about our research, watched a Reading Rainbow on whales that was amazing, and actually got to go outside for recess. I still felt like that cloud floating through the rest of the day. Staff meeting and then lesson planning for next week.
I sit here now thinking, is this going to be tomorrow too? I guess we'll have to see. My problem is I want to be perfect-ESPECIALLY on the first try, leaving myself no room for error. This quote from Education to the Core's blog post sets my mind in a better place to finish off today:
"You are not perfect. You will never be perfect. Do what you need to do to be effective and successful. You are going to have to learn as fast as you are going to have to think. Many things are going to be hard the first time. Things are not going to be comfortable, so throw perfection out the window. You may get pretty darn close one day, just not anytime soon."
Fingers crossed for tomorrow. Good night.
Ms. K
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